Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A New MO: Why You’re Picking the Wrong Guys

My stepdad, a Marine, has tons of military-speak he likes to use when talking about every day, civilian activities. For example, whenever I sit down to make lists or write things in my planner, he says I’m SMEAC-ing: Situation, Mission, Execution, Administration, Command. Essentially, he’s saying I over-think every little thing... which isn’t totally untrue.

And, whenever I’m having boy troubles (which, if I’m being honest with you guys, is basically always), he reminds to change my “theater of operations.” He means to say the venue I’m working within hasn’t changed, so how could I expect the results to change?

It’s sort of the same ideology behind the expression that the definition of madness is repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting different results. Easy as it is to shrug off his advice as old-fashioned and out-dated, this is one place where I have no choice but to agree.

Take a look at your dating life – in the “big picture.” Are you picking the wrong guys? Constantly falling in and out of toxic relationships? Always getting burned? Or maybe you’re just bored by the dating pool? If any of this sounds familiar, keep reading.

Now let me ask you this: what are you doing to change those patterns? If you’re constantly unlucky in love but you’re still meeting guys at the usual bars or having the same friends (with terrible taste in men) fix you up with (lame) guys who are “OMG so perfect for you!”?

If you’re hanging in the same social circle, chances are slim you’re going to meet new guys. And the few new guys you do meet will probably have a lot in common with everyone else in your social circle – which isn’t a bad thing, unless you’re tired of dating that type of guy! Not to mention, it’s a little counterproductive to catch a drink with your BFF to vent about your guy problems… at the exact bar you met your last three boyfriends.

You can’t expect the circumstances around you to change until you force change yourself. If you’re fed up, change it up. Looking to meet a new type of guy? He’s probably not going to find you if you’re stuck living in the routine you hate so much.

Get out there and stretch your legs. Changing your theater of operations doesn’t mean abandoning your friends and taking up a random hobby for some arbitrary reason. It means go out with your colleagues one night instead of your girlfriends from college. It means take a yoga class if you’ve always wanted to try it. It means skipping your regular bar this weekend and trying that new place you’ve heard great things about.

Most of all, it means don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Allow yourself to explore all your talents, hobbies and interests, and recognize that when something in your current environment just isn’t working, it’s up to you to make the change happen.

By: Alyssa Ammirato | Image: Source