Sunday, December 11, 2011

In Relationships: When To Say I Love You & How To Say It

Nobody likes to be an eager beaver, and this certainly can apply to all aspects of relationships. But really, sometimes you just can’t help it. You need to kiss him on the first date, you need to text him within a second of receiving his, and you need to utter those three little words that light a fire within your heart every time you see him.

Within the first few months of a relationship with someone, you begin to wonder: who’s going to say those magical words first? There could be times when you’re together and you have to literally bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying it because, well, it could either make you or break you. Every relationship is different, and people fall in love at different speeds, but who says that rules have to define when you say it?

Looking to defy some "logic?" Here, I’ve compiled some advice on when to say I love you and exactly how to say those three words that pack a whole lot of meaning.

When To Say It:

When you feel it: If you really are head over heels, then why not tell him? Of course, there are some little things that you should keep in mind like, don’t utter "I love you" while you’re sitting across from him on the first date, and then, break into a song and dance about how strong your undying love is. Instead, if you’re with him, kissing him, or doing whatever, and you strongly can’t hold it back, then say it. Just beforehand, be sure that you won’t regret it. If you’re fully comfortable with your feelings and expressing them, then why hold back any longer?

When you’re sure you’re both on the same page: This is really important. There’s no point in telling someone you love them, when in the back of your mind, you think their reaction will be something like: 0.o, or -_-. Like I said, nobody likes to be an eager beaver, so make sure that you’re both on the same page, and that his reaction will be what you’re looking for. Maybe he won’t say the words back, but at least he won’t be running to the door.

How to say it:

Like you absolutely mean it: Congrats! You’ve decided to say the beautiful, three words. It’s a big step, but one that is filled with complete and utter happiness… most of the time, anyways. A good way to say it is filled with meaning… well, duh. Don’t go into an Alan, “Hangover-movie like,” speech, where you pull out a crumpled piece of paper, read him a little speech, accept him in the wolf pack of your heart, and then drug him with roofies. Instead, don’t hold back and tell him when you started feeling this way and why. He’ll love to see that you’re opening up to him and he’ll also love all the compliments like, “I love you because…,” and so on.

Out of the blue: Unexpected "I love you’s" are the best because they take someone completely off guard. Now, I’m not saying to suddenly blurt out “I love you!” when he’s eating, causing him to choke on his lemon chicken. However, though, do it out of the blue in a cute way. Like, when you’re in bed kissing, pull back suddenly and say it in a sultry, whispering way, or even, whisper it right into his ear, and then kiss him.

Do’s and Don’ts:
  • Do drop little hints like, “I love your kisses.”
  • Don’t say it right after sex, it may seem a little cliché and due to other, er, things…
  • Do say it and then kiss him, it’ll allow him to soak it in and feel it more.
  • Don’t hire a quartet band or violist to randomly pop out of nowhere and begin playing some tunes.
  • Do talk to your girlfriends about it first, and listen to their opinions.
  • Don’t say it until you fully mean it.                 
  • Do say it for the right reasons.
  • Don’t do it in a cheesy way, like, through a sappy poem, a novel about your time together… after a week, or naked, holding a big cookie that says "I love you, boo bear!"

In truth, maybe there is no right time to say I love you. It varies in every relationship, but honestly, my piece of advice to you is: if you feel it, you feel it. By not telling him, you’re simply wasting time. Forget all the rules, all of clichés, and forget what you think you should be doing and following: do what YOU want to do. In the end, your heart will be thanking you for it.

By: Sarah Kester | Image: Source


Post a Comment